What I Would Tell My 17-Year Old Self - Part 2

Be sure to read Part 1 first.

3) Avoid Porn

Porn is everywhere and most of it is free. In fact, the average age of first Internet porn exposure is 11 years old. Eleven.

I’ve helped some people who were exposed to porn at an early age and had sexual problems as a result of it, such a  premature ejaculation, performance anxiety, and body dysmorphia regarding genital size.

But the potential problems go deeper. There is some evidence that transgenderism occurs when someone is sexually attracted to themself as the opposite sex. Due to some other mechanisms of the mind, certain traumatic events, sexual or not, can sometimes trigger a kind of victim/traumatiser swap, so a traumatic porn or sexual experience may be the root of some gender identity issues. If so it helps explain the huge rise in these kind of issues.

But there is a more universal reason for a young man to avoid porn: Porn drains men. It drains men of money, energy, drive, ambition, and vital power. Chronic porn-addicted men often have a sallow, drained look about them because that’s what is literally what is happening to them. You may have seen such men. In fact, some of the more popular Onlyfans accounts overtly talk about draining men. Is this what you want?

Or do you want to use your energy and drive to build yourself up, to increase your earning power, your energy level, your physical vitality, and your spiritual vibrancy? What if you channeled that energy into building a life and a family that will bring you a legacy?

Porn is the energetic equivalent of a pyramid scheme. Avoid it.

4) Don’t Chase Women - Focus On Your Mission And Women Will Find You

Evolutionary psychology tell us a lot about human behavior. Here we will talk about one particular aspect: the ways women evaluate men.

I call it Jason’s One-Card Stud Poker Model of Human Mating. The short version is that we have legacy mechanisms from a time before humans were self-aware, that still apply today. If there were no mirrors, how would you know how attractive you were? By how others treat you in mating situations. So if a man can take or leave a woman, she perceives him as a good mating prospect, because he thinks he has better options than she provides. She will be happy to be with such a man. But if a man is asking her ,or even worse begging for mating, she can safely leave him behind because she knows he can’t do better than her. She can find a man who can take her or leave her.

If you chase women, they perceive you as an inferior mating prospect. So how do you get with women then? How can you use this knowledge for your benefit?

Focus on your mission and purpose. Whatever it is you want to do and achieve - and it can be almost anything - develop a vision for that and pursue it with your energy. Women sense this and it does two things to them: 1) they see you as a valuable mate since you can take them or leave them, and 2) your drive and ambition will increase your value even more, since they will see you as a good potential provider of resources.

Women will work like mad to get you to devote that passion for your mission to her instead. But if you do, she will lose interest because suddenly you are focused on her, which means she may be able to do better with another man who can take or leave her. So whatever you do, keep your mission. If she isn’t going to support it and be a muse for you and your mission, it may be best to move on.

Now, you must be OPEN to women. Don’t turn them away, don’t avoid them, don’t hate or despise them, but don’t ever chase them. Pursue your vision and mission and if they want to come along, great. This means when dating always invite them to join you on some task or event of value to you.

This also means you must have a vision or mission. You must know what you want, and know what it is you can let go of. You must know who you are, and who you are not. This is the hard part for many men. You must brutally destroy fear of missing out and do some self-work to forge your personality and character to the point that your mission becomes clear and compelling.

I can help you with this step.

And, if you avoid porn, women will sense your energy - which they crave - and will begin to find you.